Thursday, September 12, 2013

Moving Forward...

   Hello everyone. Over the next few weeks I will be making some changes to this blog, basically updating it.  i am still trying to decide on a couple of things I am thinking about. The great news is my body has done some serious healing and after 7 years of nightmarish health, my body is starting to recover and I find myself working like a man with a purpose again. A Purpose I do have. I am going to do whatever it takes to become successful at art. I need to make a lot more money to help with my Daughter Rose's education and just general support, and so I can afford art supplies and an occasion visits with my family.
    This last year has held a lot of good, some bittersweet and some plain horrible memories for me. The bad memories include the end of my relationship of 4 years with someone I cared for very much and her children. An in a bad emotional state I wound up living with a woman and her mother, and these two make the word nightmare look like a children's story. It took me 4 months to get away from there, and while all of this was happening, a problem I have had for about 10 years hit me with a vengeance, a Salivary  Gland-stone. Basically a kidney stone in your neck, and in this case the size of a glass marble. I had to endure it for 6 months before the VA surgically removed the gland from my throat.
     Now the good news. Once the gland was removed, a 10 year old problem with high blood pressure went away. It had been the cause of my Blood pressure issues for all these years. Now, it is perfect. It did take me 2 months to heal from the surgery thought. I had been on antibiotics for almost 7 months, and according to the surgeon, there was a lot of bad stuff in my neck they had to clean out.  My lungs went into spasms and  collapsed during the surgery because no one knew I had COPD and my body did not take well to the tubes be pushed into my lungs after I was out. But now, I am doing much better and feel better that I have in so many years. I've been working very hard in the studio and putting in long days. It's been back before my heart stint since I could work like this, and that was in 2006. So needless to say, I am feeling very positive about my career and my art now. I just have to make it happen.
    Probably the greatest thing that happened over the last year was that i was able to reconnect with my oldest daughter Beverly, and I found out I had a teenage daughter that's mother had told me she aborted her way back when. Amber Rose.  I can't explain why, but I have been a step father in my life and loved those children very much and still do, but when you find out you have children who are your flesh and blood, wow, that changes everything. I even have 2 grandchildren, and I am so very proud of the family I didn't know was out there. This alone made all the suffering I went through worth while. Now, all I can do is think about the future and hopefully being a part of my children's lives. But for the first time I can actually remember, I want to live now and make a better future. You have to understand when I was a young man I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, and back then, they had no good treatments. I remember very plainly the Army doctors telling me I would be lucky to see the age of 25. I was only 19 at the time and my wife was pregnant with my Beverly.  Think about that for a moment. Being told you only had a few years to live and not being able to build a future for the people you loved and not being able to see your child grow up.
    Well, I did survive, but because of that news, I made decisions that changed my life forever and started down a very self destructive path.  18 years later, I finally start to clean myself up from the drugs and alcohol and meet a woman who became pregnant and told me she did not want to have my baby, and told me she was going to abort her. That was the last time I saw her or spoke to her until this last year. I did stay off the drugs, but not the alcohol, and for another 10 years I tried to drink away the pain.  But we all know, that is not the answer and the pain only goes away with time. But I had done the damage to my body. I also had smoked like a chimney  for all those years. Those of you that know me personally that the last 4 years, I have been fighting just to stay alive from all the damage I did to my body, and I have gotten myself back into probably much better health than I could have hoped for. Honestly, last year, before I found out about my daughters, I had gave up and wanted to die. Now I realize that if I had opened that door, I would have never known about my children and grandchildren. Even though at that time, my life seemed like a very dark place with no hope, it turned around and now my life is full of love and happiness. Something I thought was denied me.
    So now, the question is how do I get my life on track again. How can I take the gifts that I was given and use them to build a better future for my family and myself?  Hard work, making the right decisions, and start by crawling, then baby steps, walking and finally running with the pack. But it will take time. All things take money. I know I need to attend large conventions like Gen-con and Illuxcon, but for me to do that, I need to make money to buy a setup, get a vehicle that will work for traveling and carrying the things I need to set up for the shows, and have prints and other items to sell. But the most important thing about it would be to make contacts face to face. I honestly think this will get my career on the right track. In the meantime, work my arshe off and learn all I can and build a portfolio to impress. 

    Making money right now is the hard part. Since I am now disabled, I am very limited to what I can do. Painting is one of the few things i can do to make money, but at this point in time not many people can afford original art or prints, unless I practically give it away, which I can no longer do. So, I just hope that things will change in the near future and one thing I have learned, is that things always come to you when it is time for them. So, we will see. Until next time. Peace and blessings be with you.
For a limited time only, you can buy prints directly from me at great savings over the people who license my work to sell. These 3 prints can be ordered directly from me for $20 each, plus 8$ shipping and handling.  They are printed on 13 x 19 photo paper. You can own all 3 for $50 plus 8$ shipping. No matter how many you order, the shipping is only $8. You can go to my photobucket site for more choices, just make sure you include the name of the print in your order Since I do not have a website set up anymore for this sort of thing, you have to deposit the money into paypal, with the title of the print or prints you want.  Please make sure your address is up to date on your paypal account. You can also send me a pm to let me you made the order and any specifics, such as you want me to personalize them for you. Plus for a limited time I will include a free vintage print of one of my older pieces for you! Thank you.

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