Saturday, November 28, 2009

New stuff.

This is where I start. After I have my model shots, I spend about a half a day drawing it out. I drew this in Painter, which I like when I am facing deadlines. But as long as I don't get a major illness or something, this assignment, 2 paintings will be done with a couple of weeks to spare. An then I am going to start a project I know a lot of you will enjoy. It will be fantasy work for a novel. It will be about 12 pencil drawings, portrait style of all the main characters of the book. Many of you have told me how much you like my pencil work.
In the above drawing, I did it different than I would have done a pencil sketch. Since I know this going to be a painting I add some of the darker details that will show through the final version. This fellow is going to be a frier when he is done, but I have to draw him as I see him first, then make the changes i need to make him have the look I want. I got a lot of his costume right when I took the pictures, but some things I didn't have and will have to add them as I draw and paint it.
One of the things I have been doing lately is a lot more learning and practicing, thanks to my friend George. I have always had trouble doing folds in clothing so i am working on learning that better and hopefully that will show over the next few paintings. I have decided this coming year is going to be about learning more and more. I don't feel that my skills are any where close to where they should be, and I just feel that I can do better. Of course, I think all artist are like that, or at least the serious ones, and I intend to get much more serious about what I do. This last year has been about me being in a place to be a artist everyday. I had to quit carpet, and with the health problems I have, I can't get a regular job. But I am turning my health around. I did quit smoking about 9 months ago. I quit when I moved in with Cheryl. I don't drink everyday anymore. Now i might have some beers a couple nights a week, and that is it. My diet is much better, but still needs work. I am getting much more exercise than I was and I am starting to feel stronger now., and last but not least is my mental frame of mind. I am becoming much more positive about everything.
I have gotten over most of the anger I have had and held in me. There is still one person that I despise with all my heart and soul, but I don't let it bother me anymore. But I'll never be able to be glad to see that person ever again, or maybe in time I will finally get past that, who knows? I really hope I can, but I'm not perfect. I'm far from it actually. lol
The one thing I really need to do though is make some friends here in Michigan. As it is, I never get out, unless Cheryl and I go out to eat or shopping. I was looking for a "Ghost Hunter" type of group to join here in Mid-Michigan, and I found 2, and wrote them letters for info, and never heard back from them. Is there any readers out there that know of any in this area I could hook up with? Outside of art, ghost hunting is my favorite thing to do. Ask Cheryl, I never miss any of the Ghost Hunting type of shows that are on TV these days. I know she is not into it much like I am, but she is a good sport and lets me watch them all. She Is such a sweet and wonderful person, and for all of you that like my art, she is the one that made it possible for me to do this. So please tell her "Thank You"
Slowly but surely the studio is shaping up. The computer part of it is all set up, but until I get an Easel or new drawing table, I can't finish putting everything in place. I need some book shelfs and a few more tables. So, it will take a little more time before I can finish un-packing everything. After we get past Christmas, and buy us a washer and dryer, I will start putting money into building my studio again, and get prints and other things made to sell.
Well, time to get to work. Please remember, if you have a question about art and you want me to tell you the answer, please, just drop me a line. I will be happy to help you out, and I hoping that by this time next year I will have my first instruction book out. "May the Darkness comfort you."

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

This is a Dark Ride.....

Those that know me well know that when I title a post what I did on this one that I am going into a very dark period. Both personally and artistically. So if the happy and pretty piece is posted above that will be so ironic right now. I originally painted this back in 89 in Acrylic on 1 inch thick plywood. The painting was kinda large as well, so it weighted a ton.
When I painted it, I hadn't really "discovered" the dark side of my nature yet. It was there, but I kept it buried beneath the surface, afraid people would think I was a freak if I painted what I really wanted to paint. But in 1993, it came to life.
I'm getting ready to paint a couple of "Dark" fantasy paintings, and I wanted to redo this one some first. The thing about these dark periods I go through is that they last a very long time. Usually years and I do become a very different person. It is hard to explain but if you hang around, you will see.
The last time this happened, it took a period of several years and it was the product of a lot of negative things that had happened to me. Being betrayed and lied to by the very people I love and trust is a big one. An during that period, my blood family really had it out for me. I took the rap for a lot of stupid things my mother did so she wouldn't get into trouble. She had be with a man that died, and in his will he said that as long as she was alive she could live in the house and control all the things that went with it. But after she died, the land, house and all the propriety would go to his, Lester, children. Personally I thought this was very fair of the man, considering he had only known my mom for 2 years.
At the time I was single, and my older brother and sister voted that I should live there with her, so I could do the upkeep on the land and propriety. Reluctantly I did. During this period my mom would take jewelry, guns, and anything of value to the pawn shop whenever she wanted to get drunk and I wouldn't give her the money for that. Later when these things started turning up missing she told my siblings and Lester's children that I had done it because I had a bad drug problem. At that time, I did smoke pot, but I also owned my owned carpet business and brought it about 2000 a week, so I always had plenty of money and paid all the bills around there. But for some reason, it was so easy for my brother and sister to believe all the crap my mom was putting out there. And another kicker was this had be going on for about a year before anyone asked me about it.
Once the truth all came out, i basically said "F@ck you" and have never had anything to do with my family since, except my younger sister and nieces and nephews. Needless to say, this left some pretty deep scares.
Another "truth" that hit me around that time was that i realised that every woman I dated or lived with all had children and no matter how much I loved and cared for their children, they would never care about me, except for what they could get out of me. No matter how many years we had been close, as soon as their mother and me went our separate ways, they no longer would have any thing to do with me, unless of course they wanted something. I had my chance to be a father when I was very young and dumb and blew it royally, and life would not give me a second chance.
I was raised by monsters. They never taught me the things in life that where important like family, children being married and what it really meant to make commitment's like that. Most of my youth I spent trying to get my head straighten out from all the fu*ked up things they had done to me, such as abuse. I can still remember my grandmother telling me "It's okay, he's your uncle" when I was 6 years old, and that was just the tip of the iceberg.
But all of that is years past. The part about not having children of my own really eats at me still, but I'm just to old to do anything about that now. These days, I have much worse demons to deal with. One of the biggest that really sickens me is that everyone just wants to use you. They will lie to you, pretend to be your friend, get close to you until they get what they want and then they just cut your throat and laugh in your face. If you remember a few months ago I was talking about forgiving and forgetting and trying to be a better person, well it slowly dawned on me that just opens the door for other assholes to try to f*ck you over as well. I'm telling you this because if your a wide eyed artist that thinks that working in publishing is so wonderful, it's not. The business is full of crooks, con-artist, and backstabbers. I'm not saying everyone is that way, but a lot of them are. When you do find good people to work with, you best give thanks everyday for them, because they are few and far between. Luckily for me, this year I have been dealing with some really good people, but before that it was about 50/50. There where a lot of great folks on the way up, and then there are some I would love to see get smashed by a speeding truck.
I don't know where this dark mood is going to take me, but I promise, it will be very different and it is here to stay for a good long while, perhaps the rest of my days. "May the darkness comfort you"

Sunday, November 15, 2009

"A New Chapter....."

Without a doubt, this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and one heck of a roller-coaster ride. This last year has been full of changes and growth for me, and I have loved every day of it and meet every day with wide open arms and wide open eyes. I do what I do out of love, but there are a lot of folks out there that just want to use me to make them money and don't give a hoot about anything else. I will never understand how people can possibly put money above all else, but they do.
All I care about is my art and the people I love. I have Cheryl to thank for that. She is the first one that has been able to talk to me on a level that I can understand and see things for what they truly are.
The move has been rough on us, but we did it. We decided that when we buy our home, we are gonna pay for some one to move us then. lol In our minds where only 23, but our bodies are telling us a very different story. lmao! Where did the years go?
I love the new house. We went from a one story house to a 3 story home, and the whole basement is my Man-cave/studio. lol We also have 2 bathrooms now. When you have something like colitis, that is a good thing. In the studio I even have room to set up an area for photographing models, which I need to do soon for a big fantasy project I have coming up after Christmas. I also have a cool dark fantasy project to get done before Christmas as well, and then a Horror/western painting to get done the week of Christmas.
You know I was worried about not getting enough exercise, but going up and down these steps all day is giving me quite a workout. I'm going to have to buy a new washer and dryer now. We had a laundry mat at the old house, but not here, just the hook up. That really bites, because I had to leave a wonderful washer and dryer behind when I moved to Michigan. But I lost a lot of things when I moved here and a lot was stolen from me. But thats alright. Like I said, this is a new chapter in my life and I've had to start over on a lot of things.
I'm actually looking forward to getting a new easel. I've never worked on one before, but Daniel and Mark really love painting on them, so I thought I would give it a try. I've always used a Drawing Table, which I might whine up getting another one of those as well. I'm just not sure at this point. Right now, I am just hoping my oils are still good and didn't get ruined sitting in the cold last winter. I'll know in a couple of days.
It is so cool to unpack all of my art stuff and neat little collectables and see them again after all this time. It really brings back memories and makes me feel even more at home. I should be back to working by the weekend, or at least I hope so.
I have to tell you, I am in some serious pain. lol No one helped Cheryl and me move, except for her Mom, and I feel like my legs and arms are about to fall off. Lucky for me the doc hooked me up with some very potent Hydrocodone. That helps alot and muscle relaxers help to. The VA gets me through! lol
I am really enjoying being off from painting for a week. I really need this break. I feel like I'm on the verge of burning out, and I don't need that. being in my new studio is really getting me pumped up though.
Well, its back to unpacking for me, but I just wanted to check in and let all my friends know that Cheryl and I are doing wonderful and things are really great. Peace and Blessings all. I'll see you in a few days.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

2 of 4

This is "One for the road" written by Paul Kane for the Darc Karnivale book. The picture is about 2 of the 4 horsemen. Everything is going well, but very busy. I hope to post one more time before the move. This week and next week are just insane. lol I hope you all are well. Peace and Blessings

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Thankful, blessed and getting healthy!

Hello my friends. I know it's been a little while since I showed you any art, and on the next blog, you will see plenty. At the moment I am finishing up the last 2 paintings for 'Darc Karnivale" and I promise they will kick some serious butt, and after that I have plenty of more kick as& paintings to do between now and Christmas. As a matter of fact I am booked all the way until May. I did put aside some time for a movie project that is coming up probably in Dec, or Jan. And for my fantasy fans out there, I have a big Fantasy project coming up in January through the end of March, and this will be some beautiful pencil artwork that you haven't seen from me in a while, and I also will be doing 4 "Dark Fantasy" works as well.
I went into being a full time artist about 5 months ago, and even with the illnesses I have been through, I have managed to get the studio into a very profitable business. Personally I am shocked. With the economy the way it is, I was hoping for half of what is going on for me, but I am truly being blessed.
As soon as "Darc Karnivale" is done, it will be time to pack and start moving into our new home. I am thrilled about this, because I will have a studio once again. I can start painting in oils once again. I can take all my little Monstys out of storage and have them up around me once again, and even better, I will be working on a 3rd shift schedule for the first time in over 25 years. I am pumped about this even more. Some of the best memories I ever had as a artist was during that time. As an artist I am happy as heck.
An even better I am finally getting healthy once again, and your gonna be surprised. All the things I have done the last 6 months where done when I felt Bad and sick, now that I am healthy again, what does the future hold? Who knows, but I can tell you this, it will be exciting! I do hope you will sick around to see for your self.
I am guessing for the next 2 weeks I will do little blogging, mostly because of the move and all the work I am doing. But I will be back after Thanksgiving. At this point, it is hard for me to promise what I will be blogging about and how often. It will all depend on circumstances. But you know, if it wasn't for Cheryl, none of this would have been possible. She made this dream come true. She believed in me and threw me into the lake and told me to swim, and I have. As I am getting healthier, I am swimming harder. I really just want her to be proud of me. She has worked so hard to make this happen, and there is no way in heck that I will let her down.
I honestly feel like I am walking into a time of magic and growth. I am so looking forward to this. Oh, I almost forgot, there is a really cool interview with me here It does really get dark, I really talks about the things that messed up my mind when I was young, It talks about the things your not supposed to because "its a family secret" The hardest thing I have ever had to do is to learn how to put these things behind me, and move on. It just doesn't work like that, does it?
Well, I'll be around and post when I can between now and Christmas. I love you all. Peace and Blessings.