I have been taking it easy since I finished the little girl painting. I have been working, but not pushing it right now. I am rejuvenating for a little time would be the best way to put it.. I have a lot of new ideas going through my mind for the Deadly Dolz and The Book of Rose. An before you ask, The book of Rose is something like "The book of the Dead" but not really. There will be a game and all kinds of things that will be based on it, all created by me. An then I have tons of little projects that will be really cool as well.
Monday also marked my 1 year anniversary of moving to Michigan. So far this year, the weather has been better here that their having it back home. Heck, I've done gotten use to going everywhere in the snow. It used to be a huge deal to get out in it back home, now it seems like it snows everyday. When Madison goes to work, I always check to make sure her car is warm and the windows are clear, and the headlights too. I've gotten so use to the cold, I don't even where boots or anything. I just got out in my slippers and I am proud of that. If you had told me a year ago the cold and snow wouldn't bother me no more, I would have laughed at you.
Right now my sweetie is napping, but we are going out in a little bit. She wants to go play a game called Keyno. I've never played it, and will probably just watch her. It sounds like she really enjoys it, and she really deserves that. I know i can't change the past, but I get the feeling that she was not treated with the respect that she deserved in her past relationships. She is a darn good person, and is so full of love. Every time I see her when she wakes up I feel like this little boy inside of me is jumping up and down because I am so happy to see her.
It's hard to believe my life has changed in a very short year, and all for the good. Sure there where a few bad things that happen, but that's life. Overall though, it has been wonderful. I honestly believe that if I hadn't came here and meet Cheryl, I would be dead now. My health had really gone down hill along with my mental health. I just didn't care anymore. But Cheryl's love saved me, and look at what has happen since. My biggest problem is anger issues, but everyday I get past that more and more. I feel like I've been given a second chance, and now I am thinking about that in a major way and asking myself, what will I do different this time. A lot, a whole lot.
The thing I don't understand is this. I work in horror, and I love it. I grew up watching it, glued to the tube. I was goth before they even had a name for it. When I work or do the artist thing, my icon is scary, because what I do is scary. I do have a VERY dark side to me. On the other hand, as extreme as that dark side is, there is a "Light" side to me as well. I am very emotional. I cry all the time. The older I get, the worse it has gotten. When ever the "good guys" come out OK, I am crying because I am happy for them, the same if the story is sad. I wear my heart on my sleeve as the saying goes. People that love me, keep me from harm, because that is a bad thing in this cold world. But when someone uses me or hurts me or someone I love, I loose it anger wise.. It takes me years to get over some things. That's because I go from one extreme to another. But that is who I am, and if I wasn't, I wouldn't be doing the things that horror fans love, and you would have no idea of who I am. My art is about emotion, plain and simple. When I say I am in a dark mood, that usually means I am drawing on some past emotions of pain or angry to do a piece that I see in my ID.
On one hand, I get letters daily from fans that say basically "your to nice to be who you are" and I wonder do some people think I am a Evil being because of the type of imagination I have. I know my brother and most of my family do. That is why I use the name Rose. There ashamed of me, lmao.. I am ashamed of them and I truly don't want people to know who I am related too, with the exception of my younger sisters family. An as much as I love her, she never calls when she says she will because, I guess, I am just to different. Hell if I know.
No, chances are I am nothing like you or anyone you know. NO, I don't wake up plotting the end of the world, but I have nightmares that would make you think the end is here. If I was a God, the world would be like all the kid movies you see. Every one would be happy, everyone would love each other, but we know this world is nothing like that, and I have a gift for seeing the darkside, and live to draw about it. The Master once told me "be careful when you stare into the darkness, because it might stare back" lmao. I am the darkness staring back, and all the pain and betrayal that has been stabbed into my heart and soul has just feed it over the years. May the Darkness comfort you....