This last year I have really lost all interest in doing this type of work. I actually have gotten to the point where I dread coming into the studio because I am just sick of doing things that I am not inspired to do anymore. I am sick of restrictions or someone telling me to do it this way and not this way. I have done this for 33 years and I am just simply burnt out on the whole thing. From now on I am going to paint anything my heart desires, whether it be flowers or a skull. It might be a dragon, or just the sky. I am even thinking of doing some partial nudes. My goodness, I have some drop dead gorgeous models posing for me, so why not? Beauty is something that should be captured forever, no matter what it is. My mood will determine what I paint . I am looking to paint "Loosely" instead of so damned detailed all the time. I would love to sit down with a canvas in the morning and be signing it when the day is done. If I think of the painting as a whole instead of every single detail, then I can and I will.
My road has been leading to this. If I had not been so hardheaded and listened to Madison, I would have done this much sooner. Another big factor she keeps reminding me of is that I am really disabled folks. I have COPD, and that alone is a bitch, but then you put diabetes's, high blood pressure, and ulcertive colitis on top of it, well hopefully you get the idea. Some days I fell great, others I don't want to do anything but watch movies. When your working on deadlines, this is not good and the pressure can really get to you and in my case cause severe depression. I am constanly setting myself up for failure like this. One day I feel like I can conquer the world and start saying to myself that I can get this done tomorrow and keep on trucking. When the next day comes and I feel like crap, I get depressed because I feel like I let myself and everyone else down.
This week I have been doing what Madison told me to. I have been having fun. I am doing what I want when I feel like doing it. Watching movies, playing video games and just being happy and I can feel that creative feeling starting to come back. I haven't felt creative since I did the "Dark Fairy" painting. An since I have made this decision and been having fun, I have been feeling even better. I haven't had to take a nap for the last week and I've been working out every day.
So hopefully if you are an art lover, and not just a horror lover you will embrace the new work if it is good and keep following my work. Hopefully next time around I will have something to show you. Love and Hugs. "May the Darkness Comfort You."