Saturday, October 8, 2011


     Hello my friends. Hugs to you all. I have missed talking with you. I have been doing a great deal of soul searching lately as well as making miracles happen, and that's what this blog is about today.
     Have you ever set so many goals for that you just overwhelmed your own self? lol I sure have, but I am learning not to do that anymore. Just set one, go after it and keep at it until that goal is a reality. I have been doing that lately and it is working like a charm.
     I am sure that a lot of you would think that my art would be my top priority?  It's not, my health and my loved ones are, and that is what I am focused on right now.  I set certain goals for myself and I have met them all so far. First I had to quit smoking and drinking. I quit smoking over 2 years ago now. It took awhile for me to quit dreaming about smoking and wanting a cigarette every time I saw someone smoking one, or especially being around the smoke. But I did. I really quit drinking about 2 years ago as well, except for a few nights a month. Now, I've finally quite drinking all together.  I got myself on a regular exercise program and I stick to it every day. Mostly it is using the treadmill and weight lifting.  The most recent thing has been getting and staying on a healthy diet. That is helping with my diabetes and high blood pressure. It was hard at first because I have had to cut out the fast food or the processed food.  Everything I eat now is mostly healthy and fresh. My meals include oatmeal, or a oat type product with fruit for breakfast. For lunch, fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, cheese and  no salt/low salt crackers. I may vary this with rice, homemade beans and cottage cheese.  Just don't overdo the fruit, but I have found that the sugar in fruit in not as nearly as bad as the processed kind. My insulin amounts have came down drastically. I am constantly lowering the amount of insulin to  compensate for the better sugar readings. Hopefully I will be off of insulin in a few more weeks. I have improved that much.
   The exercise is really helping with the COPD as well as all the other issues, and I have found by playing video games my stress levels and blood pressure levels have really dropped as well. I find Role playing games to be very relaxing and they are sharpening my mind as well. I am thinking much better than I was.  I have been able to reduce the Blood pressure medicines to half as well. 
   A lot of this turn around has been because of all the dental work I have been having done as well. I had no idea how important that was to my body. Apparently, my body had been fighting infections for years from gum disease and bad teeth. The thing is, I brushed my teeth twice a day and used mouthwash every day for the last 20 years. Most of this damage came from my youth. In those days, dental care was not an issue that the poor folks of the south could address.
    But now, seeing my body recover and improve because of the dental work has me brushing 3 times a day with two types of toothpaste, flossing, and pro-health mouthwash as well as the standard, Listerine. I even bought a electric toothbrush. lol I used the white strips for 3 months and my teeth look really nice now, well, the ones that are left. lol. I will have my partials in about 2 months.  But this has served another purpose and goal as well, I haven't been able to eat most meats because of the lack of teeth. So now, except when Madison makes fish, I am not eating any meat and don't miss it at all! Eating healthy is not as bad as most people think. I have lost weight, toned up and feel great almost every day now.
     In my case all of these changes came because I was faced with an early death if I didn't, but it does show that if you set your mind to something you can make healthy changes in your life. Hopefully you will do it before your face to face with death.
    That was the Miracle part of the blog I was talking about, now for the soul searching part......
    Anyone that follows me knows that this has been a very different year for me. The last 2 years I was burning it up. (That doesn't include the 12 years straight of non stop learning and training by Masters and other means.) Outside of all the art, I was interviewed  a total of 20 times and filmed for a Documentary. I amassed over 50,000 known fans and became known as "The King of Scream" and "The Dark Artist" and with all of that came a great deal of fame, and there we have found the problem. I remember on several occasions people have said to me "Be careful of what  you ask for..."  What a joke? Everyone wants to be famous and known. Isn't that what we work for? That an money?
     Through the years and one of the reasons that I am just so sick of the publishing industry is because of all the idiot's I have the displeasure of running into during my travels. I was once told I was a "Nut Magnet" and the person that told me that turned out to be one of the biggest ones I have ever known.  But you have all of these individuals running around that are just to lazy or inpatient to earn something the only way you will really get it. They stab you in the back, screw you over, use you and so on. Just evil worthless people. To all of them, I say this.... "You can have my place, my fame. All of it. I will gladly give it to you. YOU truly deserve it.
   I have cut myself off from these people by leaving the industry. I could care less about it or them. My world is very small now. Only a handful of people are in my life, and I am going to keep it that way.  All I want is to paint what I want and just be happy. Since I announced my retirement from the publishing and commission part of the business, I have had nothing but have fun and I intend to keep it  that way.
    I know that over the past few years I have talked about doing a lot of things and to be honest, at this moment, I really don't know if they will come to fruit or not.  At this moment I don't want to spend the time or energy on them anymore. Maybe that will change, I don't know. My motivations are not money or fame anymore, so I asking myself why I would want to spend so much time on a project that I would have to spend countless hours promoting and doing?  
     When I was training under Daniel, I had to promise him that I would help someone else one day. At the moment, I have helped countless artist and done my best to share with them the things I have learned.  In return I can proudly say that in most cases I have nothing but disappointment and regret for wasting my time on some people. No more, no more teaching, at least not now.
    Of course, let us not forget the agony of producing a piece of art to someone else's specifications. You can easily look at my body of work and tell which peices stand out over others. The ones that have sold lots of prints are the ones like "Spooky" and "Dark Fairy".  Both I did because I wanted to and they where my idea's. The commissioned pieces can not even compare to those. It is obvisious that if my heart is in it, I can fly. Otherwise, I was no different than other Illustrators.
    The above reasons are the 3 of the reasons I have decided to change gears and do things different and on a different level. I have no more desire to be in the spotlight or for people to know my name. My ambitions now are very simple. To paint what I want and sell a few of them to buyers here and there, and that is it. Madison is talking about putting up a store to sell posters, but I don't know about that. I am thinking of something different for down the road, so we will see.
    I will be deleting all of my Facebook account soon (this coming week), except for Nick Rose Two. So if you want to keep up with what I will be doing, you need to send a request to it, You need to join my group  and you need to follow me on twitter, NickRose2011 and continue to read this blog. This will be the places you can keep up with my work. I am having to streamline my social networking in order to continue it.  I am not being a snob or trying to push people away. It is a simple matter of time. If folks want to be able to talk to me about art, then my group is the place to do that.  If people want to know what the big picture is, the blog is for that and if you want to know what I am up to on a daily basis, then Twitter will serve that purpose.
    I am going to work on finishing up that 'Steampunk" piece I started back toward the end of last year. It will be for sale when it is done and I will be posting pictures of it on my group and here, and notes on Twitter to let people know that art is up.
   So my friends, this is what is going on for now. I hope you choose to continue to follow my work. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Love and Hugs. "May the Darkness confort you"