Saturday, March 20, 2010

I'm still kicking and work in progress.

Hello friends. I'm still around and working, I've just been quite. Above is my take on the little fellow from the movie "Trick r' Treat" It still has a ways to go, but I am trying to make it more scarier than it was in the movie. Hopefully I will. I am wanting to do more movie art.
I have been having some health "issues" that are causing me to be concerned. Nothing that can't be taken care of though, but I am sure wishing that I hadn't spent 1/3 of my life partying like there was no tomorrow, which is really what I want to talk about. I know ALOT of artist, and all of them, except a hand few, are very self destructive. They (and I did too) either smoke way to much, drink, or do drugs, or even more messed up stuff to punish themselves for being born a artist?
Trust me, it is a hard pill to swallow. Your not happy doing anything else, and if you do another job besides create, you become even more self destructive. A very select handful of artist actually make a good living doing art, the rest of us have to struggle our butts off and often whine up starving or no have no power or phone, because someone didn't pay you, or their check bounced. Your doomed to live day to day, never knowing what to expect, never knowing "What is the right thing to do?" Quite often I fell like I made the wrong choices, but I was raised to believe that I should follow my heart, and my heart has betrayed me many times, putting me in harms way, having people I considered family rip my heart out and then laugh at me all because my heart told me to help them, but as Mark told me one day, "You knew they where a snake when you let them in, did you expect them to not be true to their nature?" or something like that. But it drove the point home.
I don't know, maybe these things have supposed to happen to me so my mind would become a darker place. I watched the movie "The Cell" last night, and I felt sorry for the serial killer and felt that he was the real victim. So what does that say about me? I don't have any conscious thoughts of wanting to kill anyone, but there are a few people I would love to be alone with for 5 minutes. That's what a lot of people don't understand about me. To 95% of the world, I am the most gentle and kind person there is, but I've always had the "Beast" hiding in the back of my mind, and when I let it out, I create things, and the older I have gotten the darker they have gotten, and I am heading down a even darker road with my art right now. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but regardless, that's where I am going.
On the other hand, being an artist does have it's perk, especially on this level. I know 80% of the most famous horror writers out there. I get to do cool stuff like work with movie people and be able to chat with the "Stars" It always blows my mind when one of them tell me that their a fan of my work, and I am like their biggest fan, but I have to remain calm, and not say anything stupid. lol So that part of it is pretty cool, and hell I still get a huge thrill when I open a package, and it is books or magazines with my art on the cover. I know Cheryl is proud of me when she sees that, and she does worry about me making an ass out of myself, and always is there with the calm head to get me to calm down and think things through. I know that in this business it is important to as how people perceive you, so I do try to set a good example most of the time, but alas, I am only human.
But back to the point of the blog, why are most artist self-destructive? Now, the last few years I have really changed my habits and gave up the bad ones. The time has come for me to try and salvage what is left and make it stronger and healthier. I can only speak for myself, but now that i able to look back on things I think a lot of the problem has been that I have to much ambition, and get very frustrated when life throws up walls instead of opening doors. I know you have to close those mountains and all, but I have, and still get meet with a letdown.
Finally after all these years I am sorta happy with my work, but I know I have a long ways to go before I reach Mastery, if I ever do. To even have a shot at that the first thing I have to do is get myself healthier. I can see that I constantly improve in each painting for the most part, as long as I don't get burnt out. If that happens, I have to take a break like I have this last month. I have to give my self a chance to recharge. It only happens ever few years, but it happens. My guess is that it happens to most artist. Sometimes you just have to take a break and step back from things and gain a new perspective.
Well, it's time for me to get. I'm watching the kids tonight, and I have Andrea into Godzilla movies and she is ready to watch one! lol Peace!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Life is Awesome!

Hello my friends. See, by cutting back on my socializing time, I have more time to do things like blog. I do want to apologize if I sounded a little negative in my last blog, but a mountain of things was on my mind. But all is much better now. That problem I mentioned to you last time is going to be taken care of in a big way. I had the "Idiot's' address, phone number and that number that your comp has like a fingerprint, plus a 100 letters I had saved. My friends in Law enforcement in Indiana are gonna take care of the problem for me. As I had guessed, the "Idiot" was breaking federal laws, and it's just a matter of time before he is in Jail for a long while, and I was told that the judge will probably prohibit his use of the Internet for years after he is out of jail. So I am very happy, for once I feel like justice was looking after me.
The last 2 days have kicked butt. I've been making money out of the blue. When I went to see my doc on Friday he asked me if I would do a logo for his wife's new restaurant, and today I had a publisher buy 3 of my pieces, including my icon on Face book for covers of his very well known magazine. I'm not going to say who yet until I know the "Idiot" is in jail. The last time I mentioned a clients name, this fool was harassing them, and nobody likes to put up with idiots and fools.
I had a lot of fun today. I worked on organizing my dvd collection. I have been getting a lot of new movies lately. Collecting movies is my hobby, and I would put my collection up against any ones!! lol The only thing is that when my time is up, I want some group or organization to have my collection for future generations. Madison doesn't love the old sci fi/horror movies like I do, and I don't think the kids will either. Yesterday i finished my Godzilla collection. I have every Godzilla movie ever made and all are in English, except for Godzilla vs. Gigan. The only versions I have found are either Japanese or have English Subtitles. If any one out there knows where I can get a English version, i would really appreciate it if you would let me know.
Now I am working on the Hammer movies I don't have. I should be able to find them without a lot of trouble. Miss Gory Rae turned me on to a awesome movie called" Triangle". It's fairly new, and trust me, you will be freaking, scratching your head and saying WTF? You'll want to watch it again as soon as you watch it because it is such a mind trip. If you want to know about movies, ask Gory, she is an expert. She can tell you anything about them, and she is one of the "Deadly Dolz"
Speaking of the "Deadly Dolz" Spooky has been doing a lot of awesome drawings lately. They are really bizarre and dark in a happy kind of way. Suzi and Gory are drawing a lot too. These ladies keep blowing my mind. I can't wait to see Suzi and Gory's drawings. I am so proud of the way these 3 ladies are bonding. That was the big problem with 'The Dark Angels" , each one wanted to be a star and wouldn't work as a team. An thus they failed miserably.
Tonight I am going to watch a double feature. First up is "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and then "It came from Hell" I haven't ever seen Plan 9 and I haven't seen It came... since I was a very young fellow. The kids are here tonight, and I think I'm gonna let them stay up late if they want to watch a movie with me. Madison has to work tonight, but she had last night off and I just had a wonderful day with my honey. I do love her so much. Our 1 year anniversary is coming up next month on the 24th, i hope I can afford to do something really nice for her. She has been so wonderful to me and she saved my life. Honestly, she did. If not for her, I would not be here now.
Well my friends, next time I see you I may have some new art to show you. there are times though that I cannot because of the contract I have with the client, so I do the best I can. But when it's a Deadly Dolz project or The book of Rose I can show you all of it.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Catching up

Hello Friends. Above is an old piece. I did this one in 07, but it is one of my oil paintings. It is the cover for a book called "Earth Warriors" written by Mr. Gary Babb himself. A few weeks ago I got a letter from a "Old Friend" that told me that I couldn't draw with a pencil or paint with brushes and a canvas where put down in front of me..... Hmmm, obviously he doesn't know me or anything about me, like for Instance, I TRAINED UNDER A MASTER FOR 3 YEARS.....and Daniel didn't train me how to become a Master with Digital art. That is something I decided I should learn so I could stay competitive in the market price wise and for speed as well. I am trained in the methods passed down from Master Howard Pyle. Damn, I hate stupid and prejudice people.
I've been working on making some changes that would free up some spare time for me to either get more art done or have time to do other things like post a blog more often. For one, I didn't leave Face book, my fan clubs are still there, but I left the socialising part of it behind. The truth is, it was taking about 3 hours a day for me to keep up with everything on there, and that is just way to much. Plus I had to deal with a lot of Idiots who want to mess with me because their just plain losers and they can't stand to see someone do well at what they can only dreaming about doing well. Isn't that right David, or are you Jack today?
Being a name in this business takes a hell of a lot of hard work and years. It also takes talent. Desire and Talent are two very different things. Just because you desire something, doesn't mean you have the talent or patience to get it. I know a lot of folks out there that truly have the talent, but they don't have the patience. And i know a lot of people out there that don't have either, so they revert to stealing peoples stories and putting their names on it, and try to get it publish. Or they pretend to be an Editor, and don't know nothing about the publishing world, but they would die just to see their name on a book. One such fool even stole my art to put with a story he stole from one of the most famous writers in the world.
I've said this many times before. If your dream is to be and artist, I would be happy to look at your work and tell you where you stand. I'll be straight with you and tell you the truth. It might not be the truth you want to hear, but it will be the truth. If I think you have talent, I will do my best to push you in the right direction. If your a writer, a lot of the pro writers will do the same as long as you treat them with the respect they deserve.
But by far, the best way is take your work to a convention and meet them face to face. Offer to buy them dinner or a drink and ask them to give you an honest critique. Most of the time they will, but a few here and there will try not to hurt your feelings, but that is not doing you any good. You have to develop a thick skin in this business and learn to take rejection and criticism. It is the only way you can learn and grow.
Well, enough of that. To be honest, I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I can't be a normal person anymore and talk to everyone. No, I have to screen people, and that takes a very long time before I know if there trouble or not. When someone outside of a known company wants to do business with me, I do all kinds of searches and checks on them to see if they have a good reputation or if they have complaints against them. The worse the economy gets the more people are getting ripped off.
Things in the business are getting frustrating, and they are reaching to every level of it. Even the very small press that can't afford to pay their talent are feeling the crunch because people can't afford any extras these days. Most family's are having trouble keeping food on the table anymore. Madison and I are doing pretty good, compared to most folks, but we've really had to tighten our belts as well. We're lucky that we have each other and the kids. I grow closer and closer to the kids with each passing week. We also have our gifts which get us through. At least I know I can sit down and paint everyday and Madison knows she can write. I worry about the folks that don't have that kind of thing to turn to. I wonder what they do to fill the gaps.
Well, as always, I enjoy talking with you and wish that I could be closer to you all, but unfortunately being successful means that you bring out the nut jobs, and all they want to do is put you down, or try to start something with you, and for what? To prove what huge idiots they truly are? The truth is, i don't even respond to them anymore, that just sets them off even more. But on the downside, when they threaten Madison's life because of me, I feel the need to be cautious. I have plenty of fans out there that are FBI and cops, can one of you write me and see what we can do about a couple of these nuts. I know the FBI will handle things like this when different states involved. Peace my friends.