I'm still kicking and work in progress.

Hello friends. I'm still around and working, I've just been quite. Above is my take on the little fellow from the movie "Trick r' Treat" It still has a ways to go, but I am trying to make it more scarier than it was in the movie. Hopefully I will. I am wanting to do more movie art.

I have been having some health "issues" that are causing me to be concerned. Nothing that can't be taken care of though, but I am sure wishing that I hadn't spent 1/3 of my life partying like there was no tomorrow, which is really what I want to talk about. I know ALOT of artist, and all of them, except a hand few, are very self destructive. They (and I did too) either smoke way to much, drink, or do drugs, or even more messed up stuff to punish themselves for being born a artist?

Trust me, it is a hard pill to swallow. Your not happy doing anything else, and if you do another job besides create, you become even more self destructive. A very select handful of artist actually make a good living doing art, the rest of us have to struggle our butts off and often whine up starving or no have no power or phone, because someone didn't pay you, or their check bounced. Your doomed to live day to day, never knowing what to expect, never knowing "What is the right thing to do?" Quite often I fell like I made the wrong choices, but I was raised to believe that I should follow my heart, and my heart has betrayed me many times, putting me in harms way, having people I considered family rip my heart out and then laugh at me all because my heart told me to help them, but as Mark told me one day, "You knew they where a snake when you let them in, did you expect them to not be true to their nature?" or something like that. But it drove the point home.

I don't know, maybe these things have supposed to happen to me so my mind would become a darker place. I watched the movie "The Cell" last night, and I felt sorry for the serial killer and felt that he was the real victim. So what does that say about me? I don't have any conscious thoughts of wanting to kill anyone, but there are a few people I would love to be alone with for 5 minutes. That's what a lot of people don't understand about me. To 95% of the world, I am the most gentle and kind person there is, but I've always had the "Beast" hiding in the back of my mind, and when I let it out, I create things, and the older I have gotten the darker they have gotten, and I am heading down a even darker road with my art right now. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but regardless, that's where I am going.

On the other hand, being an artist does have it's perk, especially on this level. I know 80% of the most famous horror writers out there. I get to do cool stuff like work with movie people and be able to chat with the "Stars" It always blows my mind when one of them tell me that their a fan of my work, and I am like their biggest fan, but I have to remain calm, and not say anything stupid. lol So that part of it is pretty cool, and hell I still get a huge thrill when I open a package, and it is books or magazines with my art on the cover. I know Cheryl is proud of me when she sees that, and she does worry about me making an ass out of myself, and always is there with the calm head to get me to calm down and think things through. I know that in this business it is important to as how people perceive you, so I do try to set a good example most of the time, but alas, I am only human.

But back to the point of the blog, why are most artist self-destructive? Now, the last few years I have really changed my habits and gave up the bad ones. The time has come for me to try and salvage what is left and make it stronger and healthier. I can only speak for myself, but now that i able to look back on things I think a lot of the problem has been that I have to much ambition, and get very frustrated when life throws up walls instead of opening doors. I know you have to close those mountains and all, but I have, and still get meet with a letdown.

Finally after all these years I am sorta happy with my work, but I know I have a long ways to go before I reach Mastery, if I ever do. To even have a shot at that the first thing I have to do is get myself healthier. I can see that I constantly improve in each painting for the most part, as long as I don't get burnt out. If that happens, I have to take a break like I have this last month. I have to give my self a chance to recharge. It only happens ever few years, but it happens. My guess is that it happens to most artist. Sometimes you just have to take a break and step back from things and gain a new perspective.

Well, it's time for me to get. I'm watching the kids tonight, and I have Andrea into Godzilla movies and she is ready to watch one! lol Peace!

Life is Awesome!

Hello my friends. See, by cutting back on my socializing time, I have more time to do things like blog. I do want to apologize if I sounded a little negative in my last blog, but a mountain of things was on my mind. But all is much better now. That problem I mentioned to you last time is going to be taken care of in a big way. I had the "Idiot's' address, phone number and that number that your comp has like a fingerprint, plus a 100 letters I had saved. My friends in Law enforcement in Indiana are gonna take care of the problem for me. As I had guessed, the "Idiot" was breaking federal laws, and it's just a matter of time before he is in Jail for a long while, and I was told that the judge will probably prohibit his use of the Internet for years after he is out of jail. So I am very happy, for once I feel like justice was looking after me.

The last 2 days have kicked butt. I've been making money out of the blue. When I went to see my doc on Friday he asked me if I would do a logo for his wife's new restaurant, and today I had a publisher buy 3 of my pieces, including my icon on Face book for covers of his very well known magazine. I'm not going to say who yet until I know the "Idiot" is in jail. The last time I mentioned a clients name, this fool was harassing them, and nobody likes to put up with idiots and fools.

I had a lot of fun today. I worked on organizing my dvd collection. I have been getting a lot of new movies lately. Collecting movies is my hobby, and I would put my collection up against any ones!! lol The only thing is that when my time is up, I want some group or organization to have my collection for future generations. Madison doesn't love the old sci fi/horror movies like I do, and I don't think the kids will either. Yesterday i finished my Godzilla collection. I have every Godzilla movie ever made and all are in English, except for Godzilla vs. Gigan. The only versions I have found are either Japanese or have English Subtitles. If any one out there knows where I can get a English version, i would really appreciate it if you would let me know.

Now I am working on the Hammer movies I don't have. I should be able to find them without a lot of trouble. Miss Gory Rae turned me on to a awesome movie called" Triangle". It's fairly new, and trust me, you will be freaking, scratching your head and saying WTF? You'll want to watch it again as soon as you watch it because it is such a mind trip. If you want to know about movies, ask Gory, she is an expert. She can tell you anything about them, and she is one of the "Deadly Dolz"

Speaking of the "Deadly Dolz" Spooky has been doing a lot of awesome drawings lately. They are really bizarre and dark in a happy kind of way. Suzi and Gory are drawing a lot too. These ladies keep blowing my mind. I can't wait to see Suzi and Gory's drawings. I am so proud of the way these 3 ladies are bonding. That was the big problem with 'The Dark Angels" , each one wanted to be a star and wouldn't work as a team. An thus they failed miserably.

Tonight I am going to watch a double feature. First up is "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and then "It came from Hell" I haven't ever seen Plan 9 and I haven't seen It came... since I was a very young fellow. The kids are here tonight, and I think I'm gonna let them stay up late if they want to watch a movie with me. Madison has to work tonight, but she had last night off and I just had a wonderful day with my honey. I do love her so much. Our 1 year anniversary is coming up next month on the 24th, i hope I can afford to do something really nice for her. She has been so wonderful to me and she saved my life. Honestly, she did. If not for her, I would not be here now.

Well my friends, next time I see you I may have some new art to show you. there are times though that I cannot because of the contract I have with the client, so I do the best I can. But when it's a Deadly Dolz project or The book of Rose I can show you all of it.

Catching up

Hello Friends. Above is an old piece. I did this one in 07, but it is one of my oil paintings. It is the cover for a book called "Earth Warriors" written by Mr. Gary Babb himself. A few weeks ago I got a letter from a "Old Friend" that told me that I couldn't draw with a pencil or paint with brushes and a canvas where put down in front of me..... Hmmm, obviously he doesn't know me or anything about me, like for Instance, I TRAINED UNDER A MASTER FOR 3 YEARS.....and Daniel didn't train me how to become a Master with Digital art. That is something I decided I should learn so I could stay competitive in the market price wise and for speed as well. I am trained in the methods passed down from Master Howard Pyle. Damn, I hate stupid and prejudice people.

I've been working on making some changes that would free up some spare time for me to either get more art done or have time to do other things like post a blog more often. For one, I didn't leave Face book, my fan clubs are still there, but I left the socialising part of it behind. The truth is, it was taking about 3 hours a day for me to keep up with everything on there, and that is just way to much. Plus I had to deal with a lot of Idiots who want to mess with me because their just plain losers and they can't stand to see someone do well at what they can only dreaming about doing well. Isn't that right David, or are you Jack today?

Being a name in this business takes a hell of a lot of hard work and years. It also takes talent. Desire and Talent are two very different things. Just because you desire something, doesn't mean you have the talent or patience to get it. I know a lot of folks out there that truly have the talent, but they don't have the patience. And i know a lot of people out there that don't have either, so they revert to stealing peoples stories and putting their names on it, and try to get it publish. Or they pretend to be an Editor, and don't know nothing about the publishing world, but they would die just to see their name on a book. One such fool even stole my art to put with a story he stole from one of the most famous writers in the world.

I've said this many times before. If your dream is to be and artist, I would be happy to look at your work and tell you where you stand. I'll be straight with you and tell you the truth. It might not be the truth you want to hear, but it will be the truth. If I think you have talent, I will do my best to push you in the right direction. If your a writer, a lot of the pro writers will do the same as long as you treat them with the respect they deserve.

But by far, the best way is take your work to a convention and meet them face to face. Offer to buy them dinner or a drink and ask them to give you an honest critique. Most of the time they will, but a few here and there will try not to hurt your feelings, but that is not doing you any good. You have to develop a thick skin in this business and learn to take rejection and criticism. It is the only way you can learn and grow.

Well, enough of that. To be honest, I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I can't be a normal person anymore and talk to everyone. No, I have to screen people, and that takes a very long time before I know if there trouble or not. When someone outside of a known company wants to do business with me, I do all kinds of searches and checks on them to see if they have a good reputation or if they have complaints against them. The worse the economy gets the more people are getting ripped off.

Things in the business are getting frustrating, and they are reaching to every level of it. Even the very small press that can't afford to pay their talent are feeling the crunch because people can't afford any extras these days. Most family's are having trouble keeping food on the table anymore. Madison and I are doing pretty good, compared to most folks, but we've really had to tighten our belts as well. We're lucky that we have each other and the kids. I grow closer and closer to the kids with each passing week. We also have our gifts which get us through. At least I know I can sit down and paint everyday and Madison knows she can write. I worry about the folks that don't have that kind of thing to turn to. I wonder what they do to fill the gaps.

Well, as always, I enjoy talking with you and wish that I could be closer to you all, but unfortunately being successful means that you bring out the nut jobs, and all they want to do is put you down, or try to start something with you, and for what? To prove what huge idiots they truly are? The truth is, i don't even respond to them anymore, that just sets them off even more. But on the downside, when they threaten Madison's life because of me, I feel the need to be cautious. I have plenty of fans out there that are FBI and cops, can one of you write me and see what we can do about a couple of these nuts. I know the FBI will handle things like this when different states involved. Peace my friends.

The 2nd Deadly Dolz, Suzi Lorraine

Hello friends. I hope you all are well. Above are pictures of the 3rd and final "Deadly Dolz", Suzi Lorraine. Suzi and I have been friends for 3 years now. She has been featured and stared in almost 50 movies now. She writes a couple of columns for horror magazines including Gorezone. She is also a model and recently has become a movie producer. Her credits and accomplishments are impressive as it gets, and on top of all that she is one of my best friends. I can't say enough about her, or all of the Deadly Dolz. Fate has brought the 4 of use together and we're going to do some awesome things for horror fans. The 3 ladies, Suzi, Miss Gory Rae, and Spooky have bonded and become like sisters.

At the moment I am working on their Logo and a oil painting. Making a living as an artist is getting harder and the terrible economy is not helping. But Madison and I get by, and I have been rethinking my career and have decided, which you already know, we are starting our own publishing company. The Deadly Dolz and "Book of Rose" will be published by us. Plus Madison is writing some special things and I will illustrate them from front to back. Kind of like the "Darc Karnivale" book I did the artwork for. Of course this want happen over night. It will probably take a couple of years to really get the ball a rolling on this, but I have so many things I want to do that I know the fans will love, but I don't want to see someone else get rich off of my idea's.

The search for an agent is going very well. I have gotten nothing but positive letters back from them and one has agreed to take me on in August, and he is without a doubt one of the best out there. The talent he handles is amazing. Having him represent me is the other piece of the puzzle, and now that it is in place, I can see wonderful things for the future. In about a year, I am going to start looking for a gallery to show my work and hopefully sell some originals Paintings.

Something funny that happened a couple of months ago is that I got a "I hate you" letter, and the person was saying that if you put a pencil or brush in my hand I wouldn't know what to do. You know, I'm use to hate mail, but if your gonna give me hell, please know your facts. When I trained under a master, Daniel Horne, everything I did was traditional art. I started doing digital art about 2 years ago so I could stay competitive in my pricing and getting work. These days I do both Traditional and Digital. I personally believe that if your going to make it as an Illustrator, you have to be able to do both. You have to keep up with whats new, and embrace most of it. For me, painting digitally is much faster and it much more easier to correct mistakes or make changes an Art Director may want. It makes my job working in publishing much easier and faster. But on the other hand, I just love drawing in pencil and painting in oils. It's terrible romantic to me. There is nothing like it. It makes my heart and soul sing.

Next time I see you, I will have some art for you to check out. Until then, "May the Darkness comfort you"

The Good and the messed up....

Hello my friends. It is always good to talk to you. It makes me feel good to share things with you. Lets see, above is a couple of illustrations that are for Logo's, but the bottom one I can't really say anything about at the moment, just show you. I don't want to spoil the surprise of for what it is for. It is for a good friend though, but she is on a trip and it may be a few days before she can check it out. The top one is the beginnings of "The Deadly Dolz" logo. I'm going to show you this one step by step, right now I am waiting to hear input from the DD'z themselves, and yes, I will post who the 3rd one is in a couple of days. Close friends of mine probably have already guessed who it is. She has modeled for me the last few years, and I love drawing and painting her. She is so wonderful to work with, as the other 2 Dolz. We have all became close here this last couple of months and that is why I know this is going to work. Each is a Star in their own right, but all 4 of us are working together as friends, equals toward a goal that we each believe in. It's very exciting and one of the main reasons I decided to give the model thing a second chance. All my long time friends and fans know what a disaster the Dark Angels was because of ego's. That's the thing that I still don't get. I took a group of unknown models and artist and formed the group, and each one thought they where a super star or some crap. Now I am working with true TV and Movie stars, and they are the most down to earth people you could ever hope to work with. I figure that the Dark Angels was just a warm up to teach me about how to go about this.

Life is being awesome to me now. Its not perfect, but I love everyday. I love getting up and working and being able to talk with my friends via Facebook or the phone. Finding an agent is really cool. I have been getting back awesome letters from the ones I contact, and very flattering I might add. I should make a decision on that in the next couple of months. I'm not rushing. I figure this is going to be like a marriage, so I want to get it right the first time around. I'm also figuring that the work I do through the agent, the Deadly Dolz, and the "Book of Rose" is going to keep me busy, and prosperous. One of the perks is that I am going to get my own publishing company off the ground after all these years. Yeah!!!

On the down side, we have a return stalker. I mean, I always have stalkers and I could care less these days. There was a time they use to bother me. Now when someone tries something, I play very hardball and make them regret it. So, if they decide to bother me, they only do it once. The stalker I am referring to, we know who he is, we have his address, phone number the whole 9 yards, but he's about as bright as a dead light bulb. This thing with him all started because i refused to do a project with him because of his total lack of respect of women, and I had brought a few of my women friends into the project until this guy showed what a piece of sh@t he truly was. I got my friends out of the mess, and then told this clown to drop dead and never contact me again.

Since then, he has done everything including stealing my art, claiming he did it. But the thing that really pisses me off, once he realized he couldn't touch me, he started threatening Madison. Now I don't care who you are, you know that is taking something to far. He is going to get what he deserves, we've already seen to that, but I just can believe that someone would threaten one of my loved ones because I refuse to play ball with them. That is one of the main reasons I decided to get a agent because, unless it is an old friend or a very respectable publication, I will not deal with them directly, they will have to go through the agent. By doing that, hopefully it will put an end to me or my loved ones having to deal with idiots.

So in case you where wondering, that is one of the big reasons I decided to get an agent. Ahhhhhh, Friday night. That means Nick gets a 6 pack! I sure do look forward to that at the end of a week, but of course my weeks never end it seems. Unless I am very sick, I am always in the studio. If not here, then I am watching a movie on that awesome TV Madison has. It's one of those flat screen deals, and plenty large! Old movies look great on it. Speaking of Madison, she is sleeping late today, but her and her work buddies had drinks this morning after work. When she got home, she was pretty happy to say the least. lol She works very hard and she deserves to have a good time with her buddies. Since I've been with her, this is the first time that her and her buds went to a bar after work. That's kinda strange. She gets off at 7 am, heck I ain't even out of bed by then! lol. But if I worked 3rd shift, I would do the same I am sure.

I really love my new studio, even though there seems to be a nest of these ugly,black, hairy spiders that about the size of a quarter. I can't find them anywhere, but my hero, our fearless cat, Misty, has new dead ones in a pile for me every morning in front of my chair. take goodness, because if i saw one of those things crawling on me, i would probably have a cow. There can't be many left at the rate she has been going, so needless to say, she has been getting lots of treats, hair brushing and love. The only thing that worries me is when I do start a oil painting (I'm still thinking of an idea. I am really wanting to go in a different direction when I paint with oils.) is the cat hair flying around. If it gets on the painting, or in the pallet, I don't know how to get rid of it. Any suggestions from fellow cat owners out there?

Well my friends, I am signing off to get a little more work done tonight. I hope you all have a awesome weekend! Peace and Blessings, and "May the Darkness comfort You"